"Mad Girl's Love Song" By Sylvia Plath

-one of my favourites.

Mad Girl's Love Song

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)”

I never write anymore

I don't write anymore because I'm afraid of the mood - the way it changes how I perceive my world. Feels like I'm walking on a tightrope connecting two high cliffs and below is sharp rocks waiting for me to fall into the madness of it all. I don't like the feeling - the intensity. One slightly mislaid step and I plummet into darkness. It's easier on my sanity to stay on one side and not venture onto this swaying, fraying rope.
But it makes me feel alive: my heart races, my pulse quickens, my thoughts start racing across my mind faster than I can move my hand to capture them on the page.
It awakens me.
But it's easier to sleep than to feel this. This intensity. This passion. I can't handle it. It's a . . . no . . . I'd rather just lay on the couch and numb myself.
I'm out.

I wish I knew what to say
to make the darkness fade away.