A cool summer's eve

Rage, anguish, and finally self pity.
This is what I have become - what I have chosen to be.
I could force a smile and brush the black cloud off my shoulder;
stomp it into submission, stuff it in a sack, and throw it out to sea, but
it is much easier to let it encircle me. Rest my weary head upon it's shoulder
and let the sadness and anger consume me.
It is all I am
For now.
Until the rain grows tired of my face and finds the next lonely wanderer to drench in its
misery. And then I will be free from this and from me.
The sun will shine again and I will let its warmth engulf me.
But for now
the sun's brightness burns my skin and I hide in the shadows where it is safe
and familiar
and cold.
The sun is not my friend today
but maybe tomorrow . . . maybe tomorrow I will let some light shine in my bleak soul.
For it is all within my grasp, but for now
for now
I choose despair as my companion on this cool summer's eve.

Deep enough to scar yet not deep enough.